One of the most dumbfounding things I’ve ever run into is when, historically, people have come to realize that my movies on DVD are all arranged by alpha order. They get a grin on their face, or scoff, and say, “Seriously? Nerd.” And all I can do is stare blankly back and them, and ask, “Why? How do you organize your movies?” And it’s the same with my records and CDs.
Look, if I only had 5 or 6 of each, then who gives a shit. But how can one possibly find anything in a long shelf full of DVDs, Blu-Rays, CDs or records if they’re not in alphabetical order? Seriously, I don’t get this. Why am I a nerd? If you were to ask me where my Janis Ian “Miracle Row” was, I could literally point to the section in my collection where it is. Then it’s only a second or two picking it out by spine color. I would, naturally, find it in the fairly wide group of Js.
Go ahead. Get huffy and ask me why I would categorize my collection by first name. Oh, I’m glad you asked. Why don’t you sort by first name? Seriously, think about it. What’s the difference between John Mayer and The John Mayer Trio? I assume we’re all adult enough to agree that no one will be sorting by the article. So would that file under Mayer, John Trio? What about the Derek Trucks Band? Come on. This only makes sense. Same thing for Dave Matthews and his solo album, “Some Devil”, as opposed to the Dave Matthews Band. If you’re going to ask me to sort DMB by Matthews, Dave Band I’m going to punch you in the face.
Alanis Morissette is the name of the band. So I will sort her under the As. And the Stones under R. Not Stones, Rolling. Don’t be silly. So yes, I sort by first name. It relieves the hassle of trying to figure out which is which and why this should be that way and that should be this way. It’s retarded. We’re not filling out a form at the Department of Motor Vehicles, for fuck sake. This is the name of an artist as it’s printed on the cover of the album. If it says Joe Walsh on the cover, or James Gang, they’re both going under the Js. Simple as that. Why should we presume to rearrange someone’s touring group name?
Have I convinced you yet? Well then how about one more? How do you file Captain & Tenille? His name was “Captain” Daryl Dragon, and hers was Toni Tenille. He used his nickname – not even his real first name – and she used her last in the band name, in other words. Surely you don’t file that shit under T. I’ll never understand why record stores and people like you and me ever adopted the last name comma first name format. It’s retarded to me.
So that’s how I file my music on the shelves. But I would also like to plug the database software I use to keep track of my collections. It’s called Collectorz. They have software for music, movies, books, comics and games. I only use the music one, but they offer three products for music. The Web Connect, which is a web-based software, meaning you can access it from any browser at any computer in the world. Fantastic. Then there’s the Windows application that you download and install on a Windows computer. That’s where it resides and stays: on one computer. The third option is a phone app for Android or iPhone. I use the Web Connect and the phone app. Awesomely, they do sync with each other.
This makes it super easy when you’re at the record store trying to remember which of the 35 Elvis Costello records you already own. Seriously. He has thirty-five studio albums as of this writing. Oh yes, I will have them all someday. And even though I’ve heard them all multiple times on Spotify as well as the vinyls I already have, I can’t recall if I have “When I Was Cruel” at the moment. So I can pull up my app and verify. It also keeps track of any information you want to feed it. Where did you buy it? For how much? How many copies do you own? In what condition is the media as well as the jacket? Genres, tracks, track-lengths, vinyl weight, RPM and a whole slew of other fields you can fill out. It even lets you scan barcodes when adding music through the app. Bad ass.
Anyway, they’re not paying me to advertise for them. I’m just trying to share the love because it’s made my life so much easier. They’re a great bunch of guys and gals, too. If I ever ask a support question, Alwin gets back to me the next day every time. They’re in Amsterdam, you see. So when I ask my questions, they’re usually asleep. Check it out at Collectorz.com. It’s only like $45 a year for the two I use. Completely worth it. Click here to check out my collection and poke about in the web app. This link won’t show you any personal details I’ve added, like cost and purchase date but it will give you an idea of what it looks like.
Feel free to comment below if you have any revolutionary ideas on sorting and organizing your music – short of how Rob Gordon sorts his records in the most excellent film, “High Fidelity”.