Radio is a scam. So far as I can tell, the DJs aren’t allowed to just play what they want. Not at all. And don’t even get me started on the “You pick the next song!” bullshit. We listeners call in and choose which of the three Steve Miller Band songs we want to listen to, and then, presumably, they play the one with the most votes. Sure they count the votes. I don’t even know why they still have DJs except to tell us what they’re about to play. Or rather, what is about to be played by the computer program that runs the station.
Seriously. When was the last time you heard anything from Peter Gabriel’s “So” album besides In Your Eyes? Did you know that there were other songs on that record that are as good, or even better than that one? Don’t get me wrong, I love me some In Your Eyes. But I also love Red Rain. And Mercy Street. And Sledgehammer. You forgot about that one, didn’t you? Yeah, it kicks so much ass I can’t even handle it. But you never hear it on the radio.
You see, they’re only allowed to play songs that were released as singles from the album. Now I’m talking completely out of my ass here, but I think it’s an educated hypothesis. Because I’ve been around a minute. And my dad was a music distributor for 35 years. A lot of those years were while I was alive. I still don’t have evidence, and I’ve never bothered to research it or ask anyone. But I’m betting I’m right.
Here’s a crazy thing. You know Bruce Hornsby? Yeah, you’ve heard The Way It Is and Mandolin Rain. Great songs. And there’s one semi-hit from his second album, but those two were the only hits – and only singles – from his first album. Fine. Whatever. But did you know he has twelve records? A few release with The Range, a few solo, and a few with the Noisemakers. But 12 studio albums. That is a fair respectable catalog, friends. And I’m betting that out of a dozen records, well, out of the remaining ten records, there’s got to be something I would like.
I love me some piano rock. That’s why I’m so attracted to those two hits. Yeah, his voice is a little weak. Not great. Like a male version of Dido. Well, not that bad. But you get the point. Anyway, it doesn’t bother me. But I love piano rock. So I started listening to his albums, one after the other, starting from his third and just going down the line – on Spotify. And man. There is some good stuff there. I never knew he had other records. Because radio stations aren’t allowed to tell me. They’re not allowed to play them. No singles? No hits? Okay, then no play. No air time.
It’s not maybe the best shit you’ve ever heard. But there’s some rockin’ piano in there, some good rhythm, some good beats, and just overall, not bad music. I like it. So I’ve started collecting his discography. I’m not a Single guy. I’m a Catalog guy. That’s a topic for another column.
Anyway, I just think it’s unfair that they keep all these deeper cuts and extra albums by artists hidden from our ears. So when you turn on the radio you get, literally, the same songs, over and over. You’re as Cold as Ice. Yawn. Foreigner, and Lou Gramm, specifically, had some other hits, guys. But Mr John Q Radiolistener might change the station if we play Easy Money instead of Piano Man. God. Can you believe “Piano Man” was the last Billy Joel record I bought? I waited so long because I’ve already had my ass kicked so many times by the title track on ever station, ever ninety-two minutes for the last fourteen years. Fuck sake. I love the song! But they Nickelbacked it to the point where I can’t listen to it anymore.
So with that, I’ve made the choice to not listen to music radio anymore. Talk radio is fine. Podcasts, audio books or Spotify are the options from now on. I refuse to be beaten to death by Steve Miller’s Joker one more fucking time.
Here’s another thing you might not have known. Did you know that every single member of the Rolling Stones has released solo albums? Now, you might think Keith Richards is worth listening to. But Mick Jagger? What the fuck. That guy can’t actually sing, right? Well, he’s actually one of my favorite singers. He’s in the small but growing group of Guys Who Can’t Sing Great, But Thank God They Do. Other members include Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Mark Knopfler, Roger Waters, Cyndi Lauper, Elvis Costello and Donald Fagen. Tell me any album by any of those guys would be anywhere close to as good without that guy in it. Go ahead.
But anyway, yes, Mick Jagger’s solo work is actually worth listening to. Holy shit, his sophomore album is fucking great. My wife bought it for me as a love gift a month or two ago. Radio Control is a hit all the way through, if you ask me. Even though it’s from the 80s. You know you love some 80s. I’m serious, it’s fantastic. I love it. It’s been in my heavy rotation bin since I got it. I keep listening to it.
Again, though, I would have never known he had solo albums had I not researched him a little bit on wikipedia. It’s maddening. Okay, so if you, Mr DJ, can’t play music that’s not on your run sheet, can you at least tell me about some stuff? Like the fact that Bruce Hornsby wasn’t a one-and-done guy? Or that Charlie Watts has some jazz records under his name? Fuck sake.
I’m so disillusioned by radio now that it makes me want to go back in time and never listen to it at all.